Love- yourself first and always

First Dates: Part 1

First dates can be both exciting and nerve-wracking. You're meeting someone new, hoping to make a great impression, and wondering if there might be a connection worth pursuing. To help ease your nerves and set the stage for a meaningful conversation, I’ve compiled questions to ask on a first date and how to prepare for it. Whether you're new to dating or just want to refine your approach, these tips will help you navigate the first date with confidence and curiosity.

Why Asking the Right Questions Matters

The questions you ask on a first date can reveal important insights about your potential partner’s values, personality, and lifestyle. They help move the conversation beyond small talk, allowing you to assess compatibility without feeling like you're conducting an interview.

Questions to Ask on a First Date

What do you enjoy doing in your free time?

Why it’s important: This question helps you understand your date’s interests and hobbies. It’s a great way to find common ground and see if your lifestyles might align. It’s also something you both expect to discuss and can be an easy opening.

What’s something you’re passionate about?

Why it’s important: Passion often reflects what someone truly values in life. Whether it’s work, a hobby, or a cause, understanding what drives your date can provide insight into their character and priorities. Additionally, when people talk about their passions they light up!

What’s your favorite way to spend a weekend?

Why it’s important: This question gives you a glimpse into your date’s preferred activities and pace of life. It can also help you gauge if your ideas of fun are compatible. It can also show you if they are very regimented in their lives or if they play things more on vibes- things that can have a major impact on compatibility. Now, I am not saying opposites can’t attract, but it’s best to know in advance the kinds of challenges you may have to work to overcome later.

Are you more of an introvert or an extrovert?

Why it’s important: Knowing whether someone is more introverted or extroverted can help you understand their social needs and preferences, which is crucial for balancing social time in a relationship.

What’s the best trip you’ve ever taken?

Why it’s important: Travel stories often reveal a lot about someone’s sense of adventure, curiosity, and cultural interests. It’s also a fun topic that can lead to shared travel aspirations. It can also let you know if you are severely mis-aligned on travel, how you approach it, or how you both might be prioritizing the expense of travel. It may also bring up experiences you may have both had in different cultures, which can tell you about your date’s values and how they align with yours.

How do you usually spend your holidays?

Why it’s important: Understanding how someone celebrates holidays can give you insight into their family dynamics, traditions, and what they value during special times of the year. Remember not to get too deep into family drama or trauma and not to assume that someone who has chosen to distance themselves from their family doesn’t value family- they may just value their own mental health, more. This is a discussion for later.

What’s your ideal Sunday with a partner?

Why it’s important: This question can illustrate beliefs and priorities, as well as how serious a person is about finding a great partner. If it’s about dealing with a hangover and then watching the game with their friends or going shopping, they may not really be looking for something as serious as you may be, for example.

What’s something you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t yet?

Why it’s important: This question taps into your date’s aspirations and sense of adventure. It can also provide ideas for future activities you might enjoy together.

Who do you call first when something wonderful or terrible happens?

Why it’s important: The people who your date relies on in the best and worst of times can tell you a lot about who influences them and what their support network looks like. It can also open the door to learn more about how they treasure those relationships.