Blog

4/23/26

If you tell me you want to build a beautiful, full life as a single person, I’m not just supportive. I’m all in.

I believe in that path deeply. Not as a backup plan, or as something you settle into when dating feels exhausting, but as a real, intentional way of living. A life where you decide how your time is spent, what your home feels like, what your relationships and community look like, and what actually matters to you.

I don’t just believe that in theory. I was building it.

After my divorce, I spent years moving through dating, relationships, and long stretches of being on my own. I was healing. I was figuring out who I was outside of a marriage that had defined me for over a decade. I was reconnecting with parts of myself I had slowly let go of, sometimes without even realizing it.

And somewhere along the way, something shifted.

I got to a place where I felt genuinely good about a solo life. Not “fine,” not “making the best of it,” but actually good. At the same time, I could admit something else without it feeling like it threatened that life: it would be really lovely to share it with someone.

Both things felt true.

Both paths looked full of light.

That balance is not easy to reach, and if you’re not there right now, that makes sense. Because what I went through to get there was not smooth or straightforward.

I dated. A lot.

There were miscommunications that left me spinning. Breakups that felt like they came out of nowhere. Times I fell hard and it wasn’t returned, and times I couldn’t feel anything at all when I thought I should. I was ghosted. I was stood up. I had dates that felt promising and went nowhere, and connections that confused me more than they clarified anything.

I did this all alone.

That’s the part I don’t think we talk about enough. Not just the experiences themselves, but how isolating it can feel to move through all of it without someone grounded to talk to. Someone who has actually been there, who can reflect things back to you in a way that helps you make sense of what’s happening.

Most people around me were either in the same cycle, had never been through it in the same way, or were making decisions that I knew were not for me. So even when I had people to talk to, I didn’t always have people I could trust for perspective.

At the same time, I became a Matchmaker.

That experience changed how I saw everything. I was learning how people connect, what works, what doesn’t, and how often we misunderstand both ourselves and each other. I was helping other people navigate their development and how they viewed relationships while slowly gaining clarity about my own patterns, my own desires, and what actually mattered to me.

And then something unexpected happened.

During a period where I was working a lot and not focused on my own dating life, I met my partner. Not when I was trying my hardest, and not when I was overanalyzing every interaction, but when I had reached a place of real acceptance that my life could be full and meaningful either way.

If I had met him just six months earlier, I would have missed it.

I wouldn’t have understood who he was, wouldn’t have recognized what he was showing me. More importantly, I wouldn’t have known myself well enough to see how we actually fit.

That’s the part people skip over when they think about timing, because it is not just about meeting the right person and all the pieces fall into place. It’s about being able to see them clearly when you do. (That’s why my e-course is called “It’s About You: The 6 Steps of Alignment to Identify Your Ideal Partner”)

So….. what if you didn’t have to figure all of this out on your own?

What if you had a structure to come back to when things felt confusing? What if you had a way to understand your patterns, your reactions, and your fears, instead of just reacting to them in real time?

Because whether you’re just coming out of a long-term relationship, taking a break from dating, or trying to figure out how to re-enter it without repeating the same cycles, there are going to be feelings that come up.

Uncertainty. Doubt. Hope. Fear.

It means you’re actually engaging with the process honestly, not that you are doing anything wrong.

On April 27th, I’m hosting a free session where we’re going to work through this together.

Bring a notebook. We’re going to cover a lot in a short amount of time.

You’ll leave with a clearer understanding of what you need to uncover about yourself before dating again, how to recognize when you’re actually ready, and how to handle the emotions that inevitably come up along the way, because they will. Oh boy, they really will, and learning how to navigate them, instead of avoiding them or letting them take over, is what changes the entire experience.